In Search of Pizza

In Search of Pizza

Since this is my first official blog I would like to take a brief moment to share its purpose. This blog is meant for you the reader. It is to inform and educate the audience about the vocation of priesthood, the Order of Saint Augustine, the Catholic Church, and my own life. Hopefully each reader will come away taking something from this blog, as well as helping me out along my journey.

Last week I left on a bike trip with my friend Jake. The plan was to essentially circumnavigate Lake Erie (leaving from Indy, going through Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York, cross into Canada, and finally cross back into Ohio via a ferry from Canada.) Upon leaving I was extremely excited for the trip. I have always considered myself an adventurous person, and this trip was just going to be another line on my resume of adventurous accomplishments.

Halfway through the first day, it hit me, an all over body ache that did not leave me for the remainder of the trip. It seemed with every pedal stroke I took that my body revolted even more, but I made it to the end of that first day in Bowling Green Ohio. The final four days were more of the same, suffering through the day only to collapse at our final destination into my sleeping bag. The pain that I experienced, combined with the worst sunburn I have ever had, and my unsuccessful search to fulfill my pizza craving during the trip made me for lack of a better word, miserable.

Unfortunately Jake and I did not get the opportunity to complete the trip. Due to mechanical problems with the Canadian Ferry, we were forced to spend our last night in Buffalo as we waited for a friend to come pick us up. I was bummed to say the least. I had failed.

Now do not get me wrong, I loved the trip and had a great time. I have always loved biking and I saw some beautiful things and met some extraordinary people along the way, but I also suffered a lot and failed to achieve the big picture goal of riding back through Canada.

Reflecting back on my trip this suffering that I went through was actually the greatest gift that I received. I learned that it really is impossible to grow without suffering. While my body ached all over, it only made me appreciate each mile that much more. And during the endless hours on the bike I was able to think and reflect about how much God has truly blessed me in my life.

Like much of society I had previously been a comfort seeker. I would do, say, and act in a way that provided the most physical and mental comfort for me. In the past I would always take the shortest and easiest route to the goal, including prayer. So the ideas of sacrificial love and suffering always really confused me and I always wanted to punch someone in the face every time they told me to “offer it up”.

But this bike trip was different for me, I actually took one of the most difficult routes, in all actuality I did the opposite of seeking comfort.

And during all the hours of pain what did I do? I turned to prayer. I prayed and prayed and prayed, not for myself or for an ease to my suffering, but I prayed for all those that I love, I prayed that all could understand that we are not made for comfort but for greatness, through the Rosary I thanked God for all of the blessings He has given me in my life, and I prayed for you.

Towards the end of the trip, in the rolling hills of Southern New York, I became discouraged. It seemed that every time I used all of my energy to reach the apex of a hill, that another much larger and steeper hill was waiting for me. But I kept going, the idea hits me now that this must be how Christ felt as he carried His cross up that last hill. It must have seemed pointless, He could have just laid down and refused to move, but he didn’t. Instead he conquered Calvary he made it to the top for nothing more than to die, but the rewards for us His beloved creations were immense.

 As I rode my bike into Buffalo I was disappointed, we were not achieving the goal. As an ultra competitive person I was actually devastated, but then I began to think about it and I realized that in a way I had climbed my own sort of Calvary. No I didn’t achieve my goal, but I did grow in relationship with Christ and began to understand for the first time in my life sacrificial love and suffering, things that, as I study to be a priest and a religious are essential to know, understand, and embrace. The suffering and sacrifice of a priest after all is the reason they wear black, to not only signify their personal sacrifices, but also to signify the ultimate sacrifice of Christ on the cross.

In Buffalo we finally did eat some pizza, and man did it taste good! It was during that last dinner that I actually did die to myself. I began truly living for others and for God, not because it benefits me, but because of love. A love that was first shown to me by Jesus Christ, a love that I can now begin to practice myself.